I don’t even know how many posts I’ve written here about putting God first, but somehow I’m still learning the most basic of lessons in that art. I know it all with my head. But I have oh so much more to learn with my heart.
The last few months have been exciting ones. I’ve watched God unfold plans for my future... There’s nothing quite like watching dreams for ministry come true after giving them up for years. Not only did my future seem brighter than ever before, but I’d come to love the life I live right now too. Everything seemed so perfect.
But somehow it was in the years of continual surrenders that I had found the deepest peace. When nothing was going the way I wanted, it was much easier to look to heaven as the place where all my treasure was stored. But when I had begun to see earthly dreams coming true my longing for heaven started to dissipate a bit. After all, I had so much here.
I realized that God needed to do something in this heart. I wanted every single iota of affection I had to be His. I just wasn’t sure how to get there.
And then one of those treasured events on my calendar fell through. It wasn’t a huge thing. But it was important to me. I grappled with it as the stars rose outside my window. I continued to battle with it when I woke up with the stars still overhead. In the end I went to the best place I knew— my altar. Somehow I felt like I wasn’t only choosing to give up those few days but every dream that had stolen my heart.
For years I had given up my dreams because He had asked for them. It was hard and there were times I wondered if this would ever end. As I watched His hand at work in my future and saw foggy areas becoming clear I thought the time of surrendering dreams was over and it was the time of receiving. But I missed something fundamental. The time of surrendering my future will never be over because even dreams coming true must still be relinquished to the care of the One who knows best. And you know what? I’m so glad about that. I see now that I’d never want the time of giving up to be over because it produces the most beautiful fruit.
Maybe those dreams will continue to come true. I’m pretty sure some of them will. But it’s not about that anymore. They aren’t what makes life beautiful. They aren’t what makes my heart happy. They aren’t what makes my future bright. The answer to every question is Jesus.
Life is beautiful because He is in it. The future is bright because He will be there. My heart is happy because He loves me. Heaven is my home because He lives there.
When anything but Jesus becomes the dream we invest all of our heart in, we have to know we are headed for disappointment. Nothing is sure but Him. That doesn’t mean we stop dreaming. I still dream big. I’m not sure I can help it. But every single dream, every sign of a dream being fulfilled, every act of Providence, every hope fulfilled can only be enjoyed with a surrendered heart— a heart that keeps everything continually on the alter.
the only One in the world that is truly ours…
the only One that never fails...
the only One that brings ultimate joy...
the only One that deserves every last little iota of our heart…
My earthly dreams may come and go but I smile because really, my dream is Jesus. And He never fails.
And somehow I feel His smile and know I am His dream too.
20. Lover of Jesus. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Servant. Fan of the kitchen. Graduate of Masters of Biblical Counseling.
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Hands Open. Heart Full.